Non Resident India - Adoption Process for Gulf Countries

DISCLAIMER: The information shared ih this post is strictly for personal use, the reality can be different for different couple belonging to different countries. Also, its complilation of experinces of few couples.

The information given is applicable for Hindu couples and without their own biological child. Rules may or can be different for Muslims and Christians couple and for couple with a own biological child / children.

The information given in this post applies to couple where both Husband and Wife are indian nationals (NRIs) and married for more than 3 years.

NRIs are supposed to do "homestudy report" through appointed social worker for each country. In GCC, on Mrs. Omana Menon who stays in Jumeriah - Dubai is the appointed social worker. Please check the CARA website for the updates.

A social study is conducted and a report is prepared by the social worker. The social study report duly attested by Indian Embassy Dubai, most probably your social worker would do the needful. A series of documents is required with this social study report to form "Homestudy Report". This details or latest info will be given by the appointed Social Worker. Here is a tentative document list (which may vary), this ofcourse your social worker will guide you:

1. Government of India recognition by Central Adoption Resource Agency (CARA)


2. Agency undertaking letter


3. Family Photo


4. Adoption Study Report


5. Marriage Certificate


6. Birth Certificates


7. Health Certificates


8. HIV Certificates


9. Fertility Report - From a Gync/Obs... may differ for couple with own child


10. Income Salary Certificates


11. Statement of details of property owned and bank statements


12. Letter of Reference (4) - Proforma of letters is already published on this blog


13. Child care arrangement letter - From a close relative


14. Police Clearance/no criminal record certificate - From India Embassy in your country


15. Passport copies

Photocopies of this Homestudy Report needs to be submitted to various eligible adoption homes or orphange homes. These homes should be recognised by CARA and should be able to deal in NRI adoption. Most of this homes are based in Metro Cities.

Please don't submit the original Homestudy Report when applying to these homes.

Time is paitence. If a match is found, you may get call from this home. Have lots of paitence it takes long time to find a suitable child for you. If you accept the match child, than the court procedure starts. At this point the original Homestudy report is given to the Adoption centre

The court procedure takes about 3-6 months or more depending how good you find the lawyer and how good is ur judge. The court procedure takes places, usually couple of hearings and the child is yours. You get some legal papers and can apply for the passport of the baby... congrats the baby is legally yours.

Reference Letter - 4

TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

I write this letter of reference for Sita Sharma and Ram Sharma. I have known Sita for four years and Ram for nearly that long. Sita is a friend and was co-worker at ABC Company, Mumbai, India. Through the years that I and Sita have worked together, our friendship has grown and prospered because she is a loving, caring and receptive person. She is a positive, cheerful person and leads a very active lifestyle.

I met Ram about four years ago. Ram is the most genuinely caring and thoughtful person I have ever met. I have never seen such love and devotion in a couple, and it is truly heartwarming to witness. He is working with a leading foreign bank in India. The couple is financially well secured.

Sita and Ram have been married for five years now. During the last three years, they have wanted to have a child of their own to love. They have been to many different doctors to try to eliminate their problems. I have been there as they have hoped and prayed for their dreams to come true.

This child they receive will be one of the luckiest babies. It will be coming into a loving household with two parents who will love this child with all their hearts through eternity. Sita and Ram’s child will grow up surrounded by caring, loving family members in a wonderful community.
As they wait, I will be praying for them until their dreams come true. Should you have any questions regarding Sita and Ram, please feel free to call on the below mentioned number or alternately you can email me on mail@yahoo.com.

Sincerely,

Rashmi Kumar
+91_____________

Reference Letter - 3

To Whomsoever It May Concern

It is my pleasure to recommend that a baby be placed with Sita Sharma and Ram Sharma for adoption. I met Sita and Ram through a common friend and have known them for four and half years now. During these years, I have had a chance to observe their strong moral and spiritual values as well as their long struggle with infertility.

When I heard that Sita and Ram thought for adoption, my heart was filled with joy. No couple I know deserves to be parents as much as these two. They are loving, patient, attentive and thoroughly committed to one another. Their family life is good and they are financially well placed. I am sure that they can bring up the adopted child as their own and fulfill,, the child’s requirements and aspirations to the best of their abilities.

Their strong faith has seen them through some tough times, and now it seems their dreams are about to come true. I pray every day that it is so.

Please know that if Sita and Ram are able to adopt a baby, not only they will treasure this precious gift, but the child would be blessed to be part of such a loving home.

If you have any questions or would like further information or input, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

Priya Kapoor
Email:
Mobile:
Address:

Reference Letter - 2

Shiv Verma
email@mail.com
+91____________
India

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

We felt quite honored when our friends Sita Sharma and Ram Sharma asked us to write an adoption reference letter. We have known Sita and Ram for 5 years, we stay in the same neighbourhood and have had the opportunity to be their friend.

Sita is a kindhearted and responsive person. She loves to spend time with children of her friends. She readily assists her friends and their children whenever she asked for. Ram is generous and dependable. On all social occasion gatherings, he takes initiatives and loves to play with children.

Both, Ram and Sita, are loving, thoughtful, compassionate and responsible. They are also financially secure, with Ram holding a high-level job at a foreign Bank.

They wish to have a family and have sought to accomplish this through the newest medical technology available but have been unsuccessful. Their heart’s desire as a couple is to bring a baby into their loving home to care for and raise.

Both Sita and Ram have a strong support system in their families and society. It is my sincere hope that they will be able to adopt a child.

We feel that Sita and Ram have a lot of love to give and we think any child would benefit greatly from what they have to offer. They will be great parents and are ideal candidates for adoption and we strongly recommend them for adoption. If you would like to speak with us, we would love to address any questions or concerns you may have. You can reach us on the above motioned contact details.

Sincerely,

Mr. & Mrs. Shiv Verma

Reference Letter - 1

TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

I am writing this letter to recommend Mrs. Sita Sharma and Mr. Ram Sharma for the adoption of the child. I have known Sita and Ram for 3 years. We met through a common friend and share the same neighborhood for 3 years now.

As a couple, they are very caring, patient, calm and attentive people. In this three years, I have known Sita to be caring person and she easily get along with children. Kids love Sita and after each project she acquires new friends among the kids.

Sita and Ram are very kind people full of love that they cannot share with their own child unfortunately. The baby that will be adopted by her will be one of the luckiest ones.

I strongly recommend Sita and Ram for the adoption.

In case you need any clarifications, please contact me.

Sincerely,


Lakshmi
Email: ________@gmail.com
Telephone (India): +91XXXXXXXXXX

Adoption - Start

As a couple ensure you think as much as you can for Adoption. Its a great decision but also requires lots of courage and encouragement.

I would advise to keep this decision to the self for a while and slowly and gradually convey to your immmediate family members.

Simultaneously, search all the websites esp CARA www.adoptionindia.nic.in for more info on Adoption. However, with respect to NRI limited information is available

On my way for Adoption

Its been a while that I have taken time to see my blog.

Me and my husband have decided for the adoption. We need your prayers and hope we can do it!!

Since, we are Non Indian Residents, I will be posting my step by step procedure for the adoption process, hope my blogs helps someone.

Home Work

It was difficult to accept the infertility. There aren’t any words to describe the trauma or shock of this truth.

We decided we will head for ICSI, but were not sure with whom.

That’s exactly where an internet is handy tool. I checked with my local gynecologist for referral. She suggested a couple of names. A simple Google search popped up with details. I went on surfing about the information (assuming it’s reliable and most case it will be) on the doctor, team, experience, credentials, etc.

I sent emails to all of the doctors and some of them responded back too!!! It’s great to see how the doctor connects to the prospective patients. I am really impressed with the details and accurate information on the email. Trust me that me confident about the doctor.

I read lots of articles on the procedure and treatment; cost associated with it and the success rates.

Information I looked in their websites:

• Experience of the doctor
• qualification of the doctors
• Credentials of their clinic
• experience and profile of the team (remember embryologist are one who gets your embryos hatched)
• number of babies born
• technical devices they have

Information I asked through emails:

• I gave my basic details
• I asked which treatment is going to help me
• How much time is required (I must say a doctor gave me detailed daily plan for a month over email!!)
• how much it will cost (approx)
• any test to be conducted before seeing them

These things helped me a lot to understand what ICSI is about and knowing the doctors. The main task still remains - selecting the doctor and cycle of visit (fund wasn't a major constraint for me)

Adoption: Another view

When I think of "Adoption", I wonder 'why would somebody leave her baby?' and then...

... if 'she' had decided to leave the baby (for whatever reason), than I feel sorry, sorry for the baby.

For the time baby would have been in the womb of 'her', the baby

• must be apathy of her birth mom
• must be under the constant 'abondon' feeling from the birth mom
• feeling of neglect, hate...

Will I be able to give the baby so much love and affection that can overcome the mistreatment that baby has received?

Yes, I firmly believe "Love cures, love heals..." perhaps over the time with my love I can give the much needed affection to the little one.

Adoption or Exchange?

Its easier said than done… and yes the quote applies to “Adoption” too.
After three unsuccessful ICSI cycle, my doctor said than you can try for adoption. Yes, I wanted to adopt somebody someday but not due to my inability. I always wanted to adopt as my willingness and not as my inability.

Advise as they say is the most free available (unwanted) thing was given to me by many. They said adopt, it will help you and make somebody’s life, even lord Krishna was adopted by Yashodha mata, etc.

But there is difference, Yashodha Mata had a baby in her womb, she knew she will have her baby, seldome she knew that the babies were exchanged after they were born. For her, she was mother may be Krishna or some other baby.

The entire epic is more of “exchange of babies” than “adoption”.

Any thoughts or comments?

Things changed... but make the best out of it!!

Things weren’t the same… life had taken a cruel turn and nothings seems going right. We (me and hubby) felt shattered; news about infertility together with some personal problems was taking toll on us.

I cried every time…

• When another period starts
• When somebody announces her pregnancy
• When I see children begging on the roads
  

Things weren’t the same…

• Felt the whole world is pregnant except me
• Started avoiding social events to avoid the questions from people
• Feeling very left out when friends start comparing their pregnancy or childbirth experiences
• Waking up in the middle of the night and wishing I could hear my baby crying
• Wishing I could give your parents grandchildren
• Wanted to tell friends who just turned mom “don’t crib for sleepless nights or changing nappies or feeding problems, bcoz you have something for which I long”
• Sometimes avoiding friends who are pregnant or with newborns because I just can't handle the situation at that moment
• Getting tired of people always expecting you to do things because "You don't have any kids to worry about"
  

“…God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Over the time I realized it’s perfectly fine to have any or all of these feelings, it was ideal to cry out at times, think about something positive in life and anchor on some good support.

For me, my husband was my strongest support pillar, my strength and so was I for him. Such situations makes you realize how important is your spouse for you and you for your spouse.

Well, I can’t change things which are beyond my control, but certainly make the best out of it.

Its oligospermia - meaning low sperm count

We met our doctor after the test, I was tensed and she just looked at my husband’s report and said, “don’t worry, you will surely conceive, you will be pregnant… but” (the music to ears turning into a loud unbearable bang with that “but”)

Things weren’t the same after the reports. While I had normal hormones and my tubes are patent, my husband’s sperm count was just two low.
She said the I can conceive through Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) such as IVF, ICSI or IUI… the jargons were yet to sink in the truth I just heard!!!

“But…” (I started hating this word “but”, as if more things are wrong in my way) she said, “don’t loose heart or stop trying, we have seen miracles happening, and some miracle may work with you. Go ahead with ART but also don’t stop trying”

We just realized, we are suffering from infertility due to male factor.

Some information on Semen Analysis Test:

Semen volume

• Normal: 2–6 milliliters (mL) per ejaculation
• Abnormal: An abnormally low or high semen volume is present, which may sometimes cause fertility problems.

Liquefaction time

• Normal: 20–30 minutes after collection
• Abnormal: An abnormally long liquefaction time is present, which may indicate an infection.

Sperm count

• Normal: 40 million spermatozoa per ejaculate or more
  0 sperm per milliliter if the man has had a vasectomy
• Abnormal: A very low sperm count is present, which may indicate infertility. But a low sperm count does not always mean that a man cannot father a child. Men with sperm counts below 1 million have fathered children.

Sperm shape (morphology)

• Normal: More than 70% of the sperm have normal shape and structure.
• Abnormal: Sperm can be abnormal in several ways, such as having two heads or two tails, a short tail, a tiny head (pinhead), or a round (rather than oval) head. Abnormal sperm may be unable to move normally or to penetrate an egg. Some abnormal sperm are usually found in every normal semen sample. But a high percentage of abnormal sperm may make it more difficult for a man to father a child.

Sperm movement (motility)

• Normal: More than 60% of the sperm show normal forward movement.
• Abnormal: Sperm must be able to move forward (or "swim") through cervical mucus to reach an egg. A high percentage of sperm that cannot swim properly may impair a man's ability to father a child.

Semen pH

• Normal: Semen pH of 7.2–8.0
• Abnormal: An abnormally high or low semen pH can kill sperm or affect their ability to move or to penetrate an egg.

White blood cells

• Normal: No white blood cells or bacteria are detected.
• Abnormal: Bacteria or a large number of white blood cells are present, which may indicate an infection.
  

Take a test!

I changed Doctor. It isn’t the my previous gynecologist wasn’t good, it’s just that I was loosing my patience (seldom I follow my brain than my heart, this was one of those times).

The new Doctor was recommended by my friend, who delivered healthy baby boy after 1 year of trying!!! (So you see there isn’t any logic, but we still follow our brain). And my brain proved right this time.

My doctor was like a motherly figure. She was kind and patient, she asked me questions about my menstrual cycles, relationship, etc. She said as such she doesn’t foresee any problem with me, but just to confirm it medically she asked me to conduct some blood test (to check hormones level) on particular days of my cycle and a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). And for my husband a semen analysis. After all the tests, if required, she will consult on further medication. I was really comfortable with her.

While I was leaving her clinic, she said, “don’t worry, you will surely conceive, you will be pregnant” (isn’t that music to ears?)

About the tests:
Usually hormone test such as FSH, Thyroids, LH, etc are conducted on Day 2-5 of your cycle (considering your first day of bleeding as Day 1). Most doctors suggest these tests. Consult your gynecologist or doctors before conducting this test. Its simple blood test.

HSG – a procedure in itself
During a HSG, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. A HSG also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall.

A HSG is done to:

• Find a blocked fallopian tube. The test often is done for a woman who is having a hard time becoming pregnant. An infection may cause severe scarring of the fallopian tubes and block the tubes, preventing pregnancy. Occasionally the dye used during a hysterosalpingogram will push through and open a blocked tube.
• Find problems in the uterus, such as an abnormal shape or structure, an injury, polyps, fibroids, adhesions, or a foreign object in the uterus. These types of problems may cause painful menstrual periods or repeated miscarriages.
• See whether surgery to reverse a tubal ligation has been successful

This test should be done 2 to 5 days after your menstrual period has ended to be sure you are not pregnant. It should also be done before you ovulate the next month (unless you are using contraception) to avoid using X-rays during an early pregnancy. You may want to bring along a sanitary napkin to wear after the test because some leakage of the X-ray dye may occur along with slight bleeding.

Irregular Period? Check for PCOS

When my regular cycles started fluctuating and that too on higher side, I visited a gynecologist. A scan revealed that I had PCOS in my left ovary.

It isn’t scary, but if I let it loose, I was susceptible to infertility (I hate this word).

I was told to reduce weight, do some exercise regularly and some medication over three months helped me to overcome PCOS.

So what is this PCOS?
Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a commonly seen problem among women these days. It affects women of reproductive age and statistics shows it is seen in 10% of women. Though in most cases it is minimal and won’t be even noticed, the alarm rings when difficulty in conceiving is noted leading to long periods of infertility. Unfortunately there is no universal definition for the PCOS, but we can guess it from the name itself. Poly cystic means ‘with many cysts’ and it tells you it’s a condition of the ovary having many cysts. By definition a cyst is a fluid filled sac.

The basic terms PCOS means this: It’s an endocrine disorder where the male hormones (androgens) in females increases to an abnormal level and affects the female reproductive cycles. This leads to a situation where women do not ovulate. Basically the purposes of ovaries are to produce eggs and release one of the mature or full grown eggs every month. The release of egg is called Ovulation. The high male hormone level inhibits the growth of the egg in the ovary so that it will not reach its maturity and so won’t be released. Thus the unreleased eggs remain in the ovary and become cysts over a period of time. Since ovulation is not happening the patient will not conceive leading to infertility.

The commonly seen symptoms of PCOS are:

• Acne
• Weight gain and trouble losing weight.
• Extra hair on the face and body. Often women get thicker and darker facial hair and more hair on the chest, belly, and back.
• Thinning hair on the scalp.
• Irregular periods. Often women with PCOS have fewer than 9 periods a year. Some women have no periods. Others have very heavy bleeding.
• Fertility problems. Many women with PCOS have trouble getting pregnant
  

PCOS is generally diagnosed from the symptoms stated above and confirmed using blood tests for hormone levels and ultra sound scan of the pelvic region. A gynecologist or obstetrician should be consulted for diagnosis and treatment. To diagnose PCOS, the doctor will:

• Ask questions about your past health, symptoms, and menstrual cycles.
• Do a physical exam to look for signs of PCOS, such as extra body hair and high blood pressure. The doctor will also check your height and weight to see if you have a healthy body mass index (BMI).
• Do a number of lab tests to check your blood sugar, insulin, and other hormone levels. Hormone tests can help rule out thyroid or other gland problems that could cause similar symptoms.

The absence of periods is the cardinal factor in diagnosing PCOS. The other symptoms like hirsutism and acne may or may not be present. Another interesting finding is that majority of PCOS patients who are overweight are insulin-resistant. Insulin resistance means your body is resisting the effects of insulin. Insulin is supposed to keep the blood sugar normal. So resistance to insulin causes you to become diabetic. And the drugs given for type II diabetics is effective in controlling the insulin resistance and thus PCOS.

The treatment of PCOS is in 2 ways depending on if you are looking for a child immediately or not. If you don’t have any plans for conceiving, then birth control pills are given to regularize the monthly cycles. But if you are keen on conceiving, then Metformin is one of the widely used diabetic drug. Usually both these drugs are given for 3 – 6 months. If the condition is persisting, then other methods of treatment should be followed like inducing ovulation taking drugs or surgery. Laparoscopic are useful for puncturing the cysts and inducing ovulation by scraping the walls of ovary which triggers female hormone production. (PLEASE SEEK DOCTOR'S GUIDANCE IN PCOS)

• Try to fit in moderate activity and/or vigorous activity on a regular basis. Walking is a great exercise that most people can do.
• Eat a heart-healthy diet. In general, this diet has lots of vegetables, fruits, nuts, beans, and whole grains. It also limits foods that are high in saturated fat, such as meats, cheeses, and fried foods. If you have blood sugar problems, try to eat about the same amount of carbohydrate at each meal. A registered dietitian can help you make a meal plan.
• Most women with PCOS can benefit from losing weight. Even losing 10 lb may help get your hormones in balance and regulate your menstrual cycle. PCOS can make it hard to lose weight, so work with your doctor to make a plan that can help you succeed

Am I pregnant?

I used to have regular cycle until it started fluctuating on the higher side. This would give me hope every month!! It may sound weird, but I used to feel (or imagine?) some of the pregnancy symptoms. Any passing additional day over due date would increase my hope until the urine pregnancy test.

Some of my symptoms during this tenure were:

• Nausea – feel like vomiting or sometime vomit too

Reasons: Erratic eating habits, combination of acidity and headache would often result for me in vomiting. All I couldn’t figure out why this vomit sensation grew stronger past my due dates – may be its psychological

• Bloated

Reasons: I am fat, that’s it!!

• Frequent urinating

Reasons: Drinking lots of water, and that too near my due dates

• Swinging moods

Reasons: If it is... it is

• Feel like pregnant

Reasons: No comments- was trying for long and hope is always alive.

My suggestions, if you feel you are pregnant:

1. Hold on for some time before a test. For me my next cycle used to begin always the next day of my pregnancy test (what a waste of money!!!).
   
2. Always used renowned, recommended (by doctors) or branded home pregnancy test

Well, it’s normal to feel or imagine some of the symptoms. Most of these are psychologically related and it’s quite common to have one or some.

that 18 hours...

I missed my period... wow, it could be positive and the next day I went for Urine Pregnancy Test (UPT) crossing my fingers for that two lines. Well, my dreams lived less than 18 hours with just one line.

We were trying for about 8 months, and for the first time, I felt helpless, thinking about my 18 hours of happiness. For that 18 hours, I would have lived a whole 9 month... deciding on everything from names of babies, colour of bedroom, toys, how stupid I was!!! I didn't lift anything heavy, didn't sleep on my tummy. In fact I couldn't sleep that night desperately waiting for the morning for my test.

I cried and cried (well that’s normal). Sometimes crying helps getting pain out of heart, try... its works for me.

I was losing patience everyday growing. That 18 hours made me live a 9 month life and realize life won’t be easy going further, better be prepared and face it.

A beginning...

I thought to share my experience on my first cycle of ICSI. Took a while to select a suitable name for this blog and came up this one “I-n(and)-fertility”. Just like "Impossible" can be spelled as "I - am - possible", so do I believe that I will have “fertility” some day!!! I feel that infertility shouldn’t get over me, instead I should overpower it (Please do carry this attitude with you as well).

The blog will provide some enlightenment on the psychological state to couples who are undergoing or will undergo IVF. The blog is about sharing my experiences, my feelings and emotions. It also describes the emotions of other people around me who are going through IVF.

I appreciate if you would leave a comment for improvement.